2012 Election Jokes

Former presidential candidate Herman Cain is best known as the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza, a gangster-themed restaurant chain. He was in the best position to give voters "a deal they couldn't refuse." He was also able to buy up several old "McCain for President" posters and alter them for his own use.

The only reason I can think of for Mississippi governor Haley Barbour to do what he did was that he must have gone to the state prison and several prisoners accidentally bumped into him, each saying, "Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me..."

Rick Santorum is so far right, he's so far wrong!

Newt Gingrich found an easy way to get an A in math. He just married his teacher!

Things That Dick Cheney Might Be Doing
1. He may try to convince the Obama administration that Iran has weapons of mass destruction so that the U.S. can bomb them, invade them and Cheney's company Halliburton can make another fortune with their no-bid contracts.
2. He's working on a gadget which will control George W. Bush by remote control. (If he doesn't have one already.)
3. He's still explaining to people that just because he was vice-president, that doesn't mean that he was president of vice.
4. He's starting an outdoors show called, "Quayle Hunting."
5. He's starting a talk show called, "You Don't Know Dick!"

Top George W. Bush Books That He's Going To Have Ghostwritten For Him
1. How Al Gore tried to steal the 2000 election and how the Republicans saved America.
2. The Greatest President Who Ever Lived: The Story of my Administration.
3. My 100 Greatest Golf Games While in Office.
4. Good Advice I've Gotten From Millie, My Dad's Dog.
5. Good Times: The Fun I Had During My 400 Presidential Vacation Days.
6. How Any Idiot Can Lead a Charmed Life - Like Me!