Baseball Jokes

There once was a pitcher so bad, the crowd started singing Take Him Out of The Ball Game!

Billy Martin once had four doubles in a game, but then he ran out of liquor!

One official made so many bad calls, he was nicknamed, "The Dumpire."

Will Pete Rose get into the Hall of Fame? Well, maybe the Gambler's Hall of Fame or the Liar's Hall of Fame!

When the Red Sox traded Babe Ruth, they thought that that would make them a tougher team since then, they were Ruthless!

One batter specialized in hit-and-run plays. His problem was that he used his car!

I used to collect bats, but I got rid of them when they started biting!

One pitcher, Joe Niekro, was called the Little Shaver. That wasn't because he was short, but because of what he did to the balls!

Another player led his team in steals before he got nabbed for burglary.

Some pitchers are so rich that they have their own personal ball scratchers!

Did you hear about the new major league policy on drugs? Just say yes!

One player had many runs, but they were all to the bathroom!

One guy had so many spitballs that they called him the Pitcher of Water.

You know that your color commentator is inexperienced when he says things like, "Green is a pretty color, but some people also like Red, and Blue is very nice, too..."

One hit struck a chicken. Now that was a real "fowl ball!"

One player was so dumb, he just couldn't get to third base because of the short stop on the way there!

Once, when Bush was president, he went to a game and they asked him if he wanted to throw out the First Pitch. He agreed and tossed Laura out onto the field!

Least favorite ballpark treat - Darryl Strawberry-favored Coke!