Jokes for Today

Now that baseball and softball have been dropped from the Olympics, you can be sure that the British will add cricket, rugby, darts, and snooker to take their places!

Maybe Lloy Ball should have been named "Volley."

Unfortunately, Lolo Jones did not finish her race in a Lolo time!

When the going in gymnastics got nasty, we got Nastia!

Another good thing about having the Olympics in China, no one defected!

The breaststroke is fun to do with yourself, or with a friend!

When you see all of the foods that they have in the Chinese marketplace, you find out why they call it the bizarre!

Of all of the cartoons I saw about the Olympics, none was stranger than the picture of two hands locked into the Olympic rings.

I tried water polo, but my horse drowned!

Olympic Jokes

Nastia Luikin won the gold in the woman's all-around event in gymnastics. The competition was nasty, but she was Nastia!

How do they extinguish the Olympic flame? Mark Spitz!

China was a good choice for the Olympics. At least they chose a country where no one would possibly want to defect to!

Where do dissodents eat in China? The Deli Lama!

I hear gambling is illegal in China because no one wants Tibet on it!

Jokes

The Democrats are trying a new campaign slogan. To stop Osama, Vote Obama!

Not to be outdone, the Republicans have come up with Want Bush again? Then Vote McCain!

I believe that the president's advisors have mislead him on several issues. He hates people who disagree with him so who can blame his advisors for beating around a Bush!

I've heard that Brad Pitt has two daughters, Peach Pitt and Cherry Pitt. With Angelina Jolie, her life is really the Pitts!

If you look at some of our worst presidents like Hoover, Taft, Harding, Nixon, and Bush 1 & 2, they were all conservatives. On the other side, if you look at some our best presidents like Lincoln (a liberal Republican), Theodore Roosevelt, FDR, Truman, and JFK, they were all liberals. History should tell you how to vote!