John McCain doesn't know how to use a computer. That's alright, he has an excuse. When he was growing up, they only had clay tablets, anyway.
Is John McCain the Anti-Christ? Well, when you add the number of letters from each of the names, "Johnny Sidney McCain," what do you get? 666, the mark of the beast. Coincidence? I think not!
How much mush would a George Bush push if a George Bush did push mush? A George Bush would push as much mush as a George Bush would push if a George Bush did push mush!
I knew this guy who was so unpopular with women that even his life sized inflatable doll walked out on him. And no, that wasn't me!
Someone asked me if I knew the way to Bangkok. I said, "Sure! I do it every night!"
I had some running shoes, but I couldn't catch them!
Where do underwear-shaped aliens come from? Where else, Uranus!
How did the dumb guy get injured? He saw a box marked "Rattlesnakes" so he did!
I send everyone the same card. I write on a piece of paper, "I know you''d like any card I sent you, so I got you the cheapest!"
What kind of fish can you catch in a toliet? Crappie!
Why was the egg happy? Because he just got laid!
Who made the first Lincoln logs? Abe at the outhouse!
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