Friday, July 4, 2008

Jokes for Today

John McCain doesn't know how to use a computer. That's alright, he has an excuse. When he was growing up, they only had clay tablets, anyway.

Is John McCain the Anti-Christ? Well, when you add the number of letters from each of the names, "Johnny Sidney McCain," what do you get? 666, the mark of the beast. Coincidence? I think not!

How much mush would a George Bush push if a George Bush did push mush? A George Bush would push as much mush as a George Bush would push if a George Bush did push mush!

I knew this guy who was so unpopular with women that even his life sized inflatable doll walked out on him. And no, that wasn't me!

Someone asked me if I knew the way to Bangkok. I said, "Sure! I do it every night!"

I had some running shoes, but I couldn't catch them!

Where do underwear-shaped aliens come from? Where else, Uranus!

How did the dumb guy get injured? He saw a box marked "Rattlesnakes" so he did!

I send everyone the same card. I write on a piece of paper, "I know you''d like any card I sent you, so I got you the cheapest!"

What kind of fish can you catch in a toliet? Crappie!

Why was the egg happy? Because he just got laid!

Who made the first Lincoln logs? Abe at the outhouse!

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